If I Could Get Serious…

If I could get serious with all of you for just a few moments. I’m putting aside politics and even the goings on in my own personal life for this blog entry. Yes, this is that serious. And I have spoken on this subject before….but it does need to be repeated until it sinks in.

Now I know that you all know where I stand on any of this….at least those of you who are avid readers of my blog. HATE IS WRONG!! It’s that simple basically. We not only have to teach ourselves this concept but the next generation as well.

So a gay boy came up and said he had a crush on you?? Now I know that for some of you straight readers out there, it might appall you, but that is no excuse for hate or for violence. All that is required is just to say “Thanks….but I don’t go that way.” It’s plain…it’s simple….and it’s straight to the point. No hate and no violence involved.

What does violence result in?? The gay person is usually dead and the straight person that committed the crime is going to jail. So what good does it do to kill someone just because they are gay?? Sure, you might rationalize that there is one less gay person in the world, but now you’ve lost your independence and freedom and you’re going to jail….probably for a very long time. And there you might learn a new form of “gay” called prison rape. So in the end…it’s even worse.

Now Ellen talked about gay jokes. Now in my opinion, there’s a difference between a gay joke and a derogatory gay joke. I have a good sense of humor and can take a good joke. I even make a gay joke even now and then. It’s when they become a derogatory “or hate” gay joke that I have a problem. Humor is one things….hate is another.

We are a hateful people by nature. You don’t have to look far into history to see that. But we must learn as a people…as a culture to rise above that. Instead of focusing on how we’re different or that I’m gay, maybe you should focus on how we’re similar. I’m gay….and when you find out it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. And if I accidentally hit on you, just say “Thanks…but I don’t go that way.” And that’s the end of it. Might prove to be a funny story later for one of us to tell. “Remember that time….”

And Ellen was right on the fact that we are not second-class citizens. We are all citizens….first-class citizens of our nation and of our world. We all have the right to contribute to the betterment of our society. And by hurting someone because they are gay does not improve our society, it hurts it by taking away someone’s contribution. We remember Matthew Shepard and now we talk about 15-year-old Lawrence King, just to name only a couple, who will no longer be able to contribute to our small world.

This is whey stereotyping is so bad because not everyone fits the stereotype that is put on us. I’m gay…so the stereotype for me is that I must be flaming, I must act feminine, and I must be a whore…. Why?? Because that is how society and the media depicts us. And sorry to disappoint all of you who believe in stereotypes, but I don’t fit any of those categories. You shouldn’t stereotype anyone based on what they are…. You should find out for yourself what kind of person they are as an individual. Think of yourself with this…do you necessarily reflect the entire stereotype that surrounds you?? Yes, we all have a stereotype that surrounds us….but yet, how many of us actually hit that stereotype?? Stereotyping can lead to hate and to violence…..therefore, stereotyping must go the same way as hate.

I once spoke out in favor of adding sexual orientation and sexual identity to the hate crimes laws….and I still believe in it. Yes, all crimes are hate oriented. And all must be punished. Yet, there are many communities that will turn a blind eye to violence committed to gay people and this must be stopped. People who commit such crimes need to be punished to the full extent of the law…and the message must be driven home that hatred and violence are not welcome in our society.

The family of Lawrence King is now shattered…and as for the boy that killed him, well his life has been drastically altered, too. Now he’s going to jail…and with the seriousness of the crime, he’ll probably be charged as an adult and will have a permanent record follow him the rest of his life. He also has to live with the fact that he killed a person just because the other person was gay and asked him to be his valentine….and all he had to do in response was just say ‘no thanks…I don’t go that way.’

Our society seems to be slipping away….slipping from any sense of sanity that it has left. It is up to us to make that difference and that change. We must instill in us respect for each other and acceptance for our differences. We don’t have to like everything….we don’t have to like people who are gay, but we should be civilized and evolved enough as a society to at least accept that people are different and move on. Tolerance is key here. Just because we are tolerant of each other doesn’t mean that we like certain things. My mom doesn’t agree with the whole gay thing….but she is tolerant of it and accepts the fact that some people (her son included) are gay. And she wouldn’t wish violence on anyone because of it (or violence on anyone for any reason). And that’s the kind of thinking we should get into….we might not like it, but we should at least be tolerant of it.

Jean-Francois Regnard once said, “We love without reason, and without reason we hate.” Think about that, it is very true in it’s simplest form. Why is it so much easier for us to hate than it is to love?? If we put as much effort into loving or tolerating one another as we do in hating each other over frivolous differences, the world and our society would be a much better place for us all. Remember this, if you hate someone else, then someone else is going to end up hating you. And if you wish violence on someone else….then they are going to wish violence on you. The cycle is easy, and it snowballs. The point is to stop it and to turn it. Isn’t it better to love one another….couldn’t we achieve more in that sense?? If you love or accept someone, then they will love or accept you in return. See…it works the other way, too….and that is the way we should be focused on. It’s just as easy.

I’ll leave you with a quote from James Baldwin who said, “Hatred, which could destroy so much, never failed to destroy the man who hated and this was an immutable law.” Think about yourself and your loved ones….and what has been said here. And think about all those you said you’ve hated….and be bold enough to turn that around.

Peace to all of you….and goodnight.


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