Gay Marriage Amendment

Right now, as I write this entry, the US Senate is debating a bill that would make same-sex marriage illegal….and its a Constitutional Amendment that they are debating.  Now, there is no chance this is going to pass.  I’m not worried about that.  It would need 2/3 of a majority in the Senate and then the House, plus 3/4 of the state legislatures to be ratified.  And there aren’t even enough votes in the Senate to get it out of there.  This is basically being done, as a waste of time, because its an election year.  Duh.

But I have sat here and watched some of this debate and listened to what some of these Senators have had to say.  And the load of crap that I’ve heard come out of some of their mouths in unbelievable.  Now, I know that everyone is entitled to their own opinions….but their logic is flawed in a major way.  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

The main speaker that I was listening to during my viewing time (and I still have it on right now….though it is on mute while I type this) was Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS).  My first complaint with him was that he tried to rationalize putting an amendment in the US Constitution defining marriage as between a man and a woman.  The main source of rationalization that he was trying to use that 45 out of 50 states have already passed state amendments banning same-sex marriages.  WTF??  Didn’t we learn way back in the day that we shouldn’t do something just because someone else does something??  Apparently, he missed that day in school.  Just because something is popular or has a majority of approval, doesn’t make it necessarily right.  For years, women weren’t given the right to vote.  This was very popular with the majority (which were men), but it wasn’t right….and thus it was changed.  The same went with African Americans.  Civil Rights wasn’t important with the majority at the time.  And they did everything they could to keep a civil rights bill from passing, so our African American brothers would not have the same rights as their white counterparts.  Again….this was the way the majority felt, but it didn’t make it right.  And now we are at again.  Just because 45 out of 50 states have made laws banning same-sex marriages doesn’t make it right.  It’s still discrimination.

Sen. Brownback said that this was not bigotry.  That people who are opposed to same-sex marriage and religious leaders and religious organization are not being bigots, but they are just that.  It is bigotry.  A bigot is a term of insult used of a narrow minded person who is intolerant of other creeds, opinions, races, etc.  So this is very much bigotry at its very core.  These are people who are completely against all gays simply because they are different than the norm….they are different from themselves.  They don’t care to understand, to educate themselves, or to be even the least bit tolerant of those that are different (unless they are forced to by law).  And I am not here to try and change people’s minds as much as I am here to bring some form of rationalization to this discussion and to say that we need to be tolerant of one another.  Bigotry will only divide this country….and we cannot survive divided.  Whether we are gay or straight, white or black, male or female, there is one thing we all have in common….we are all Americans.  And its time we started treating each other with the respect and dignity that we all deserve.  And we have the right to be equal.  Discrimination in the US doesn’t work…and it is unlawful.

Sen. Brownback also brought into this entire arguement, as has been done in many cases, the children.  Everybody say “awwww” at once now.  And I do not disagree with him entirely.  Yes, the best situation for any child is to be raised by a loving mother and father.  However, if the Senator ever got his head out of his ass every once in a while, he would realize that this isn’t the way things work this day and age.  One-third of this nation’s children are raised by a single parent.  So what about the other 2/3??  Not all of them are raised by a single parent.  Some rare raised by grandparents or aunts and uncles…or various other family members for whatever reason.  How many does that constitute.  Again….it wouldn’t fall into the single parent category, even if it was only one grandparent or just an uncle or just an aunt because they aren’t really their parents.  The Senator, in order to attempt to make a point, went over to Europe (specifically to the Netherlands) where they support same-sex marriage.  The rate at which children are born out of wedlock in such countries has sky-rocketed.  Now, this may be true…it may not be.  But again, I come back to our nation on this issue.  He had his line chart behind him to illustrate this in the US.  Apparently, he should have turned around and looked at his own chart because it already has skyrocketed in this country….that 1/3 was shot up to fairly rapidly.  Marriage is already being redifined….but not by the gay population.  All of you straight people are doing a pretty good job of that on your own.  I mean, the divorce rate is somewhere around 50lready.  You don’t need our help to destroy the sanctity of marriage, you’ve already accomplished most of that.

So I ask this question of which is better….to have a child raised by a single parent that might have to work multiple jobs in order to suppor the child and spend little time with the child (or children) or one raised by two loving gay parents that can provide a loving home and each spend quality time with their child (or children)??  A parent is defined any organism in relation to its offspring.  But to me there is more to a parent.  A parent are those who raise us, those who stay up late and help us with our homework or scare away the monsters from under our beds at night, those who are willing to support their children is whatever dreams they might have, those that educate their children on diversity and allow their children to make up their own minds on issues of the day and not just believe in what they, themselves, believe in.

The religious side of this issue is very clear.  All are against it.  But those who support this ban are using religion to help support it.  Last I checked, there was no official religion in the US, so we can’t force people to believe in this simply based on religious principal.  My mother, I will use as an example here.  My mom was raised staunchly Catholic (even I was).  She went to a Catholic school while growing up even.  She sees gay as being wrong and is against same-sex marriage altogether.  Though she views gay as being wrong, she is slowly starting to accept me for who I am.  We are starting to talk about stuff openly.  Though I know it is hard for us, we are starting to make an effort.  It’s not that she still doesn’t see it as being wrong, it’s on tolerance.  She is being tolerant of her son and who I am.  And therefore, I am more open to being tolerant of her views as well on this matter.  She’s still against same-sex marriage and even gay adoption (another arguement for another time), but she may be more accepting and open to the idea when the time comes.  This is what I mean by showing tolerance.  You don’t have to change your views, just be tolerant to those differences.  Her views come from being raised Catholic, and they aren’t going to change.  I am stronly in favor of making same-sex marriages legal in this nation (this should be no surprise), but I do make it a point to state that the federal government (or any government) does NOT have the right to dictate to religious institutions that they must administer these services.  This only goes to the government’s part in marriage.  People say that marriage is a religious institution.  And for most, this is true.  But there are those out there who don’t get married in any church….it is all done by a Justice of the Peace.  This is what would be effected.  And the government must still issue a marriage license.  You can go through any religious ceremony to be married that you want, but without the government license, it won’t be recognized.

And why doesn’t a civil union work??  If the issue is going to be this divisive over the use of the word “marriage,” then why don’t we take that word out.  In this scenario, marriages only come from religious institutions.  Anything administered by a Justice of the Peace (or whatnot) is considered a civil union, whether it be same-sex or heterosexual marriages.  Now this takes out the “marriage” issue and takes out the religious part of the argument.  Now, it’s solely on equality….exactly what this entire issue is about anyway.  The gay population just wants equality.  They are Americans and they have a right to the same rights as everyone else….no matter if they are different or not.

This is definitely not a cut and paste situation.  Every side thinks it is right….and neither side is willing to compromise.  But again, I try to bring some logic to all of this.  The Declaration of Independence does state “that all men are created equal.”  It is stated in the the founding document of this nation….so why is it that we cannot bring equality to all American citizens.  Why is it always such a debate??  Equality is equality….there is no variation from this.  So I ask that when you approach this topic, do so with some logic.  Leave out religion and leave out our personal opinions and remember to practice tolerance (tolerating or being tolerant of others’ beliefs, practices, etc.).  A unified America is a strong America.  It is time to be quit being divisive and hurtful and a time to show the world that we are what we say we are….the land of the free.

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